The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #11

Since my mirtazapine withdrawal I've noticed something really strange. 

Just before I get a depressive episode, my sense of smell goes very acute. At first I thought it was me or my house smelling a bit fusty, but after asking some (very close) friends to give me a sniff, they said I smelled fine, and it was then I realised my sense of smell was heightened.

Then the next day, or the day after that I will end up in bed for several days with a bad depression.

It happens too often to be a coincidence. Sometimes it's so overpowering it drives me crazy and I end up spending a fortune on perfume and room fragrances!

I'm kind of curious as to what's causing it..

Has anyone else found this or heard of this before?

Kerry.

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #10

In my early anorexia days, a doctor told me I didn't have the self-control to be the restricting type.
Of course, me being me, said "F*** you, I'm going to prove you wrong!" and set to it with renewed determination. 

Turns out he was right, and after about a month of no food, bulimia kicked in big time.

Given the competitive nature of anorexics, I've always thought this was a pretty stupid thing to say!

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #009

Someone asked me the other day who the scariest person I'd met in hospital was..
Thinking back to the colourful characters I'd met over the years, I was surprised at myself when I blurted out "The Psychiatrists!"

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #008

When I was anorexic, I never saw myself as fat.
Because of this, my doctor refused to give me a formal 'Anorexia Nervosa' diagnosis.  (I was tagged under "Low weight Bulimic").
It was only after I pretended that I thought I was fat did he slap the correct diagnosis on me, wasting years of valuable time where I could have been getting the appropriate help.

I've often wondered if I would have made a speedier recovery if the ED had been caught more quickly.

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #007

If I were to go by insurance costs in the United States, the cost of my ECT sessions alone would have been anywhere between $50,700 - $422,500 depending on the state and hospital.

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #006

I was always rather crap at absconding from hospital. Being weak from anorexia, my legs usually gave way by the time I got to the bottom of the stairs!

After a big kerfuffle, alarm bells going, staff racing, I was then carted back up the stairs like a coffin, kicking and screaming and feeling rather foolish by my pathetic attempt.

Others on the ward had more success, often spending considerable time concocting elaborate plans and going in to partnership with each other to fool the staff.

I never did find out their secret!

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #005

When I was anorexic, I used to start worrying in July about how I was going to handle the ordeal of "The Christmas Dinner". (I jokingly referred to it as "The Last Supper"!)

I always found it difficult getting the right balance of eating enough not to offend, but not eating so much that I was thrown into a complete panic.

In a culture where the refusal of food is the ultimate rejection, you can imagine how horrendous the situation was for everyone present.

Thankfully those fearful days are in the past and I can now enjoy the occasion with my loved ones.

It may sound ludicrous to get so wound up over one meal, but to the anorexic, the Christmas Dinner, or any other festal occasion is a time of great fear and anguish.

Kerry.

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #004

It's amazing how quickly you get used to the outrageous sights in a mental hospital. At first you're shocked..your naivety taken forever..Then a few days later you're like, "Oh yeah..that's him roaming up and down the corridors naked again," and not batting an eyelid..

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #003

Once I woke up from ECT feeling absolutely fine and wondering why it wasn't like this all the time! It turned out the ECT machine had broken down. I've always joked I wore the thing out...

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #002

Receiving two marriage proposals whilst in hospital, though I don't know why as I was around 70lbs at the time and looked a total wreck. Obviously it wasn't for my body then...

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #001

My most embarrassing experience.. - Probably getting chucked out of Pizza Hut after decimating the five quid lunchtime buffet. If you're bulimic, the words "All you can eat buffet" can suddenly take on a whole new meaning!

After five or six trips to the bathroom, and then back to the buffet, the staff eventually noticed what I was up to and "politely" asked me to leave.

(Cringe...)