Thursday 20 February 2014

The Ludicrous side of Mental Health.. #006

I was always rather crap at absconding from hospital. Being weak from anorexia, my legs usually gave way by the time I got to the bottom of the stairs!

After a big kerfuffle, alarm bells going, staff racing, I was then carted back up the stairs like a coffin, kicking and screaming and feeling rather foolish by my pathetic attempt.

Others on the ward had more success, often spending considerable time concocting elaborate plans and going in to partnership with each other to fool the staff.

I never did find out their secret!

Monday 10 February 2014

Does volunteering have a downside?

Volunteering is an amazing thing. It gives you the opportunity to gain experience, meet new people, build up gaps on your CV, travel the world and more.

Over the years I've gained valuable experience doing things ranging from gardening, work in a care home, charity shop, music with children, advocacy on psychiatric wards, café/waitressing work, companionship, choir warden, various committees and boards, altar server, mental health peer support, modelling (fashion/cosmetic, not clay!), woodwork and upholstery, film work, and quite possibly the worst and most tedious of all, admin duties.

I've met a lot of people, had a lot of laughs, and started a process of elimination of the jobs I now know I could never do. Take café, restaurant or bar work for example..with my hearing and memory, you can imagine that's pretty much a non-starter. Admin work? Don't get me started on that!

But does volunteering have a downside?

Lately I've been mulling this over..and If you'd asked me this a year ago, I would've said "No" very emphatically. But recently I've started to feel rather discontented about the whole thing. 

Don't get me wrong..I still go by all that I've said above, but one risk with volunteering is that you don't get enough time time off. A while ago I was in a situation where the paid workers would take their holidays but the volunteers still had to turn up and do their work. Of course, I could have said I would be taking 'such 'n such' off, but because I've never really worked, or not for very long, I didn't know to ask for time off in the first place. (Yeah, rather daft I know). The organisation didn't really care - all that mattered was the work was being done. This situation went on year after year without a break and led to burnout on occasion. I now know better!

I'm also starting to get to a point in my life where I'm rather weary of doing something for nothing. I have been volunteering for so long now, it feels alien for me to accept money for doing something, and worse still, I don't feel good enough to accept money for doing a job - my time feels worthless because I've never really been paid for it.

Many, many people are happy to volunteer for years without having a problem with it, and that's great! But I feel the longer I stay out of the workforce, the harder it will be to get back in it again.

Then there is the detrimental effect on confidence and self-worth that unemployment can bring..

This year I feel a change in the wind...a new start.

To be continued..

Kerry.