Then when it seems as if the ground will never open up and swallow me, I manage to splutter out those words, "I'm sorry but I'm deaf".
It never fails to amuse me the reactions of some people when I tell them I have quite a significant hearing impairment...
"But you're so young".. (I'm 35, but thanks for the compliment anyway!) "Really?? You would never be able to tell".. (How would you?), and my personal favourite, "But you hear me okay..are you sure it's not just selective deafness?".. (No, my audiogram will tell you otherwise!)
Y'see..people sound different from each other. It very much depends on the pitch of the voice..how loud they are, how fast they are, how clear they are, how busy it is, their accent and whether or not they are having a latte 'to go' from Starbucks which gets in the way of valuable lipreading!
Y'see..people sound different from each other. It very much depends on the pitch of the voice..how loud they are, how fast they are, how clear they are, how busy it is, their accent and whether or not they are having a latte 'to go' from Starbucks which gets in the way of valuable lipreading!
I've been deaf since I was a baby..nerve damage or something like that. I've never known anything else. I think I manage pretty well, but it has got me in to trouble occasionally.
I find elderly gentlemen almost impossible to decipher which I found out to my cost (and everyone else's amusement) when I did a stint at the care home up the road.
Mannie: Hi Kerry, how are you today?
Me: Och fine..yourself?
Mannie: The usual... How old are you?
Me: 31
Mannie: Are you married?
Me: Och aye.. (I was single at the time)
Mannie: How long?
Me: Oh, a while..
Him: Do you have children?
Me: Yeah. (Er no!)
Him: How many?
Me: Oh..I don't really know...
By this time the staff were collapsing with hysterical laughter..- What was so funny about that?
Oh dear. And I thought he was talking about the weather..as most people in Scotland tend to do - always a safe topic of conversation which doesn't need any more than a few nods and 'Aye's' here and there!
The thing is..I couldn't hear a bloody word he said after his first 2 questions. I was using my fund of general answers that I use in situations like this. Normally nobody has any clue that I'm faking it and usually it works out okay! I was mortified when I was told afterwards what he had been asking. He probably thought I was weird..or didn't care very much for my 'children'! I avoided him after that.
I find elderly gentlemen almost impossible to decipher which I found out to my cost (and everyone else's amusement) when I did a stint at the care home up the road.
Mannie: Hi Kerry, how are you today?
Me: Och fine..yourself?
Mannie: The usual... How old are you?
Me: 31
Mannie: Are you married?
Me: Och aye.. (I was single at the time)
Mannie: How long?
Me: Oh, a while..
Him: Do you have children?
Me: Yeah. (Er no!)
Him: How many?
Me: Oh..I don't really know...
By this time the staff were collapsing with hysterical laughter..- What was so funny about that?
Oh dear. And I thought he was talking about the weather..as most people in Scotland tend to do - always a safe topic of conversation which doesn't need any more than a few nods and 'Aye's' here and there!
The thing is..I couldn't hear a bloody word he said after his first 2 questions. I was using my fund of general answers that I use in situations like this. Normally nobody has any clue that I'm faking it and usually it works out okay! I was mortified when I was told afterwards what he had been asking. He probably thought I was weird..or didn't care very much for my 'children'! I avoided him after that.
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