Sunday 15 December 2013

Regrets and Bucket Lists

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, would you have any regrets? Looking back over your life, would you have done anything differently?

After a little bit of thought, I've come to the conclusion that on the surface, I don't have that many regrets about the way my life turned out..I am where I am. Sure, I made a lot of crappy decisions when I was younger, but I dealt with them. Certain circumstances as a result of those crappy decisions dictated what I could and couldn't do and I accept that.

As I'm typing in my single finger style..reading the above..I sound totally unnatural! Probing a little deeper into that place I don't often want to go, I realise that there are a few regrets lurking in there that I hadn't really noticed or rather, chose to ignore..

Here goes..

I regret:
- living my life in fear and anxiety

- that I let other people's opinions of me matter so much

- that I didn't travel more

- that I never tried on a wedding dress for the hell of it

- that I was afraid to stand up for myself

- I wasn't adventurous with my cooking

- that I didn't take better care of myself

- that I was frightened to love fully for fear of being hurt

- that I was frightened to love for fear of loss

- that I didn't go dancing more

- that I never conquered my stage fright

- that I did what other people wanted..not what I wanted

- that I never allowed myself to have FUN!

- that I never discovered my passion in life and made it my career

- that I never learned to love myself fully

- that I worked so hard at university but failed to live


WHOA! Mood kill... Okay, so that's pretty depressing! They're not like "I regret not climbing Mount Everest when I had the chance"...or "I regret not booking bungee ballet classes"...(Actually, that sounds pretty cool..)

It's depressing that most of my regrets are based on fear. It's quite sad really..and a bit of a shock.

Well..going by my general health, mood, fitness and road safety awareness, it's highly unlikely that I'll be kicking the bucket any time soon, touch wood (taps forehead)..

There's fun lurking in this old bird yet!

I've come across bucket lists before...if you know you are dying within a certain time you make a list of all the things you want to do before you die, then do them.

I don't know how long I've got, but I've decided to create a bucket list, so that when I eventually do Kick the Bucket, my life will have been that much richer.

My bucket list:

- to go to the Hebrides, Orkney and Shetland

- Go-Cart racing 

- to get a professional portrait photo done

- go to the cinema more

- to visit the pyramids in Egypt

- to visit the Auschwitz concentration camp  

- write a book

- visit Rome

- visit Australia

- bungee ballet

- to build up a healthy strong body 

- white water rafting

- pole dancing

- to swim with dolphins

- to see the Golden Gate Bridge

- to experience the casinos in Las Vegas

- to try on a wedding dress for fun

- to visit Scandinavia (planning this for next year, finances allowing!)

- visit Florida

- and a few personal goals for building up confidence and not letting fear rule my life..

The biggest obstacle to a lot of these is money...but if I want to do it badly enough, it will happen!

Kerry :)

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